My father, Rudy, said he never felt old except when he looked in the mirror. Asked what he did about that, he said he closed his eyes while shaving.
The wide-eyed boy who arrived from Austria-Hungary in 1905 before his 12th birthday, helped to found the Buffalo Eye Bank and Research Society at age 54. He modified a Thermos jug to transport eyes, donated after death, to surgeons who performed corneal transplant surgery. He managed the eye bank until he was 79. Rudy was also a founder and board member of the Eye Bank Association of America. His four sons proudly attended annual dinners where former blind persons stood to be recognized, their sight having been restored through corneal transplantation.
Rudy’s second son died in 1977. He grieved deeply, asking why it could not have been him, rather than Bob, only 55, who left a loving wife and seven children, the youngest only 12. Rudy’s Irish “Dolly,” our mother Margaret, had died in 1974.
Rudy’s buddies visited almost daily to play nine-ball on his well-used pool table. It was around that table he would tell his sons about the old days as they lined up shots. If you sat him in a chair and asked questions he wouldn’t say much. Playing pool was the time to listen carefully.
Rudy’s sudden interest in church organ music tipped us off to a change in his life in 1976. Other than boarding school as a very young boy in Hatszeg, Austria, where religious instruction was mandatory, Rudy’s visits to places of worship had been confined to weddings and funerals.
Tall, stately, smartly dressed Loma, widow of a minister, was the recipient of both the organ music recordings and Rudy’s affection. A dozen years younger than Rudy, Loma had married very young when her older husband was already well established in his ministry. He and Rudy were fellow members of the Kenmore Lions Club.
Loma was shy and reserved, loving and gentle. Rudy, 84, sought the approval of his sons to marry Loma, a kid of 71. They were happy together, and his sons were happy for them.
In October, 1981, Loma, who had a chronic heart problem, was taken to the local hospital by ambulance. Rudy followed in his car, anxious and upset. Medics hospitalized him as well. Rudy’s anxiety attack passed quickly and he returned home the following day. Loma never came home again. Cancer was discovered. She was moved to The General Hospital in Buffalo. Rudy visited every day. She suffered so much for three months that we offered a prayer of thanksgiving when she died in January.
There was a new look in Rudy’s eye; not only grieving, at almost 89, but an awareness that life was running out and he would finish his years alone. He still lived in the same house where his sons had grown up.
His sons decided to celebrate Rudy’s 90th birthday a little early, in October, 1982, rather than February, 1983, since few people welcomed invitations to Buffalo in the winter. Rudy put a Post-it over the October date on his kitchen calendar: “The big party.”
I found Rudy dead in his bed on the eve of the party. He has passed peacefully in his sleep. Family and friends who’d arrived from all parts of the country to celebrate his birthday celebrated his life. Rudy never knew an annual award had been established in his name by the Buffalo Eye Bank and Research Society. That was to have been a surprise announcement at his birthday party.
Only a month before Rudy died, I asked him the secret of his active life, positive attitude and good humor. “Don’t worry about yesterday,” he said, looking up from the pool table. “And always have something important to do tomorrow morning.” Then he lined up his cue and made one of his incredible bank shots.
***
Carlton E. Spitzer
No comments:
Post a Comment